An Interview with my Better Half

An Interview with my Better Half

One of the greatest benefits of working for the company that I work for is that they have schools in dozens of countries, meaning any time I get bored of where I am living I can just transfer somewhere else. With all the things that are not-so-great about Kazakhstan, it is reassuring to know that you can simply fill out a transfer request and high-tail out of the country if the transfer is granted.

I have been in Kazakhstan for two years only and after two years I am ready to leave, but for my fiancée the road has been a bit longer. Cathy has been working in Almaty for five years and China has been on her radar for a long time.

I sit in front of her now, this girl I met only a year and a half ago. I have been to over a dozen countries with her, on many adventures. It seems odd to talk to her in a formal setting. Our intonations are totally familiar, yet we have never spoke quite like this before.

I have a bunch of loose-leaf paper ready to scribble down notes. She also is scribbling on a little yellow post-it (though what she is writing, I do not know)

Brock: You have been offered a teaching position in China many times before. Could you explain that process and tell us why you are still in Kazakhstan?

Cathy: Every year (after my second year)I considered changing schools. My second year I was just getting comfortable in the country and I was teaching eight-year olds for the first time. I wanted to try teaching the same grade twice in a row.

My third year I was close with a tight-knit group of friends (that fell apart shortly after). I didn’t want to move to a country where I didn’t know anybody.

Then, last year, I was falling in love with an awesome guy named Brock Raabe and I wanted to see how it turned out and it turned out very well. I chose people over cities. Now that I have people coming with me and I know people in China, I choose the cities first.

Choosing people over cities was a concept that was hard for me to understand last year. I had just left everyone I had ever known to move to a country where I knew no one. Then, all the sudden, this girl was making a decision to stay in Kazakhstan for me and I almost started freaking out. The freak-out didn’t last long and before I knew: this this was the girl I would spend the rest of my life with.

Though Cathy was dead-set on the 2010-2011 school year being her last year in Kazakhstan, it almost didn’t work out that way. Our employers have a few rules that can be seen as “Old Fashion” . In October, Cathy and I were in a serious relationship but not yet married. This fall, our employer told us that they would not grant us a transfer together unless we were married- and that if we wanted to transfer, they would purposely transfer us to separate countries.

Cathy was heartbroken. Her choices now included staying in Almaty a sixth year, leaving the school system and applying for a new job, or leaving me (not really an option).With deadlines looming on international job fairs and commitment contracts that needed to be signed for our employer we had little time to decide. Fortunately, I had one last secret weapon that had been hiding in our closet for the past few months: you guessed it, an engagement ring.

I asked my boss if we could transfer to China if we were “engaged” and he told me “Yes, as long as you are married by the end of the summer”. I asked him how long I had to decide and he told me “by Friday”. We were engaged by that Wednesday.

Now that we are engaged China is on the forefront of our minds, but Cathy probably has a better idea of what things will be like there than I do.

Brock: Unlike me, you have actually been to China. Describe your experience there.

Cathy: I found it intriguing to be there- things all around catching your eyes all over the place. The culture was fascinating, so much tradition. The people were friendly and helpful. They were curious about foreigners but open to them. Their sense of artistic style is also beautiful to me.

Brock: What is the biggest difference between China and the western world?

Cathy: I think it’s the expectations of how people should behave. They have more responsibility to their family and societal rules. There is a focus on the individual in the western world and a focus on family in the eastern world.

Though Cathy has been planning to move to China for years, she did not have that kind of mental preparation before moving to Kazakhstan. She was hired only two weeks before she got on a plane and moved to Almaty.

Brock: When you first moved to Kazakhstan what were your expectations and how did they change when you got here?

Cathy: (She laughs) Woefully unprepared. I had done next-to-no research. I thought Almaty was a village. I knew there were mountains and I had heard the name of the country on a documentary.

When I got here it was a real city. When you are in a totally different culture you feel totally adrift and unsettled. When I came back the second year I knew where things were. I came back the third year because I started to feel the community here.

Brock: What are the biggest things you will or won’t miss about Kazakhstan?

Cathy: I will miss friends and the routines we have. We have a pretty well established routine of fun things.

I won’t miss the traffic and driving- and I’m really excited to take a break from winter (though I might miss the change in seasons). I will not miss the dearth of vegetables in the winter.

Brock: What are the things you are most excited about in China?

Cathy: Being able to get almost any food I imagine. It’s all about food to me. Also, being able to walk outside without a jacket. There will be a newness of exploring a new place.

Brock: Any final thoughts?

Cathy: I can’t wait to move to China with you.

The interview is over. She has to get back to class. I put away my notes and sit back down at my desk. There, I find the little pack of post-it notes that she had been scribbling on. This was the message that she left behind: